Monday, October 7, 2013

When things aren't so simple.....

I've tried to simplify my life.  I even have a little post-it note attached to the bottom of my computer screen which reminds me to focus on what matters most and what is needful.  It says: "Do I need to do this?"  And...it's stopped me a few times and helped me to refocus.

But, sometimes things just don't seem simple.  Life in a family can get complicated.  Each child has things they are learning, needing and working-through.  There are educational and spiritual pursuits, clothing, haircuts, food to prepare and clean-up, household chores, friends, church callings, gifts and talents to explore and develop, hugs and love that is needed, a listening ear and time for counsel, service to others, appointments, dental and medical needs, yard work, scripture study, family prayer, Family Home Evening, scouting, music or sports lessons etc.

Sometimes things seem to be going fairly smoothly.  I'm an organized person, or at least try to be, by nature.  I have lists to do and a big family calendar.  I try to keep up with things but sometimes I get overwhelmed.  Today was one of those days.  Challenges to meet seemed to be bigger than my capability to keep up.  I wanted to cry but...I decided to sit and figure it out and be rational.

I had a good phone conversation with a brother-in-law whom I texted.  He gave me some needed perspective about raising teenage boys and that helped a lot.

I've been a single mom for almost 14 years.  It's been hard.  And, I've come to feel that no one understands just how hard unless they've been a single-parent themselves.  So, I don't get a lot of comfort or empathy because I don't have a lot of single friends in my state of being.

So, I turn to the Lord a lot.  He is the only one who really knows what I have been through and who has complete compassion as well as insights that I need to keep going.

Finances have been one of the hardest parts of raising children alone.  We just can't seem to be able to make ends meet.  I've tried mightily and had several types of different jobs while also being able to work from home with a particular child who had special needs.  It was the right thing for me to do - though not everyone understood or agreed.  I was grateful that my answer was from the Lord - and that I didn't need to worry about what others' said or thought.

Nevertheless, it's been a rocky road.  I keep hoping that I will have learned enough to be able to overcome this and hopefully have a new chapter at some point.  But, until I am refined enough or have experienced what I need to experience - I just have to keep holding on, pressing on, and fighting the good fight.   Giving up is not a permanent option though somedays a temporary fix.  Rest from the weariness is needed and...I've learned that that's okay.  And..wise.

Thanks for letting me share here.
I don't know if anyone even reads this but....sometimes I just need something therapeutic and perhaps sharing this into cyberspace for anyone in the whole world to read provides that needed 'therapy.  :)

1 comment:

  1. You have my unending admiration!!! Being a single parent is HARD! I applaud you for not giving up. I'm glad you turn to the Lord, He is the only one you can trust to always be there with open arms, understanding, compassion and grace. Press forward with steadfastness in Christ!

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